Cookie monster

Buffy has created the funniest blog post ever. I'm going to give up. I can't compete.

Worrying. Very worrying.

I had a very sad day yesterday at the end of what was a lovely week. Ellie went back to Australia, and we had a tearful goodbye in the less-than-cinematic setting of Hastings Rail Station's car park. (There's a fishing boat on a mound outside the exit; a statue of a Staffordshire terrier ripping up a giro would suit the town better.) Ellie is empathetic now and reacts to tears. Or perhaps she was just hungry, or grumpy after I'd lugged her from cafe to cafe, trying to find a nice place to spend some daddy-daughter time.

I miss her loads. She'll probably be talking next time I see her. Thank goodness for Skype and our video chats.

Meanwhile, back in the roost, there have been worrying developments... I opened my computer earlier to find this page open on screen:

Why Stop Lusting

Sara, is there something you want to tell me?*

*I am being forced to fess up. Sara found this page after accidentally Googling 'sa' (she was attempting to Google 'Sara Sizzle' but got interrupted). Personally, I don't believe in sexaholism. It's just a way of excusing randiness, isn't it? In fact... actually, I'd better stop there. This blog is meant to be for family viewing!

Ellie Vision

I'm happy/sad this week. Happy because Ellie is over, which is fantastic. Sad because it means I'm going to have to go through the upset of saying goodbye to her again at the end of the week... I already feel tearful thinking about it.

I saw her Friday, which was amazing, and then again today, bringing her to our neck of the woods and looking after her for most of the day. We went to Woolies to buy toys including a plastic mobile phone (Ellie loves phones). Then to the park to play on the grass and watch a BB6 rematch between Derek and Science. It wasn't actually them but it really could have been; Derek was a posh black gay man with two springers, who was offended by the Staffs belonging to a young chav, resulting in a massive row: 'You're gay', 'You're a hoodlum, you can't even speak English, go back to Brixton or Peckham, we don't like your sort in the park', 'Yeah..and you're gay.' Then we went to Escape in Herne Hill for lunch where Ellie sucked on a sun dried tomato.

She's so so much bigger and completely different to when I last saw her, four months ago. She's also an absolute angel. Of course, I'm biased, but she's so sweet and good natured. She hardly ever cries, is happy anywhere and is completely gorgeous.

Here's a video clip and some pics. There will be more Ellie stuff later in the week.

Life After Birth

No, we haven't had Quiche yet. I just wanted to let you know that we (that's Buffy and me) have set up a joint blog called Life After Birth.

Blackout

It's not easy sharing a bed with a pregnant insomniac. Pleasant, yes, but not easy.

Last night, as usual, poor Buffy woke up 3 or 4 times in the night because Quiche was punching her bladder. She finally woke up at sometime just after 5am and decided she needed a bath. (This happens a lot.) She got up and I drifted back to sleep only to be woken sometime later by banging...

'Chicken!'

I lifted my head. The thumping and panicked cries appeared to be coming from the bathroom.

I staggered to the bathroom door.

'The light's gone out and I need you to help me get out the bath. I can't see anything!'

'But you've locked the door.'

Poor Buffy was stranded in the pitch black in the dark. We've had two light bulbs blow in the bathroom this weekend, so we thought this one had gone too. In fact, our electricity, which runs off a key, had run out.

Eventually, my 34-weeks-pregnant girlfriend managed to get herself out of the bath and find her way back to bed. I went back to sleep and forgot about the whole thing until I had to clean my teeth in the dark this morning. I hope I was using toothpaste.

Happy Easter. Here's a cute picture from a cute site:

The tooth will out

Ellie's got teeth. Two of 'em!

She'll soon be scoffing Easter eggs. Buffy has made me feel bad by blogging this morning about how no-one has bought her any Easter chocolate. I am planning on buying her an egg. Possibly a Barbie egg. Or My Little Pony. Can you get pink chocolate eggs? Sounds like a gap in the market to me.

When I were a lad I, like many of my peers, dreamed of a giant Cadbury's Creme Egg, an egg so big that you had to scoop out the cream (sorry, creme) with a tablespoon. This is despite the fact that I once threw up a Creme Egg in the doorway of Sainsbury's after trying to eat it too fast. It's one of my earliest memories. Why not try to picture it while tucking into your eggs this weekend?

Have a V Good Friday.

B-day approaches...

B-day. No, that's not Beyonce day. It's baby day. Birth day. Buffy is 33 weeks gone now, meaning that Quiche is going to be, um, popping out of the oven very soon. I was reading this morning about how this is going to change our relationship so that I support 'the mother' so she can care for the baby, effectively creating a hierarchy that goes something like this:

Top - Quiche
Middle - Sara
Bottom - Me

I suppose I can always lord it over the rats.

Quiche already rules the roost. Yesterday she was demanding that I sing her favourite song to her:



Actually, Bootilicious is Quiche's second fave. Her No.1 is 'I wish I was a punk rocker', which featured on BBC3's most annoying songs countdown. The top three were

1. Celine Dion 'My heart will go on' (yep, it's rubbish but reminds me of Titanic, which I loved, so it doesn't annoy me - much)
2. Crazy Frog 'Axel F' (it doesn't get much worse than this)
3. Robbie Williams 'Angels' (mainly ruined by karaoke, for which I plead guilty)

Sara says her most annoying song is Black Eyed Peas, 'Don't phunk with my heart'. I think mine is either 'Don't worry be happy' or 'Who let the dogs out', even though the latter reminds me of Hastings on a Saturday night. Oh no, hang on, it's got to be 'In the air tonight' by Phil Collins. (Some people are trying to make Phil hip by putting him in video games. It won't wash.)

What's your most annoying song? Leave a comment.

I got my Wii. It's the bestest video game console ever ever ever. It's hard to describe the weird elation you get swinging a white remote control around pretending you're playing tennis. I've had it 24 hours and am addicted. I was up till 1am playing Zelda, which is amazing even though the early stages include bizarre tasks like catching cats and rescuing monkeys.

You'll notice I've got a strip of YouTube vids on the right, using the keywords Wii, rats and Embrace. My favourite clip I've seen so far is this one, which sums up the Wii perfectly:



Seeya later, Roosters.