I've got a new friend. His name's Dave. He comes from Greater Manchester and lives in a car in Herne Hill with his wife, who owns a gold ring. I don't know his wife's name.
Friday night, Buffy and I were staggering back from our company sports day (see Sara Sizzle) when a guy came running out of the garage and grabbed us. "I'm not a beggar!" he proclaimed, before proceeding to beg for cash because there was something wrong with the magnetic strip in his car. "I've just got down here from Greater Manchester and my wife's got a gold ring and I just need someone to help me out." I gave him all my loose change and he went away.
"That's the oldest trick in the book," said my worldly girlfriend. "Pretending there's something wrong with your car."
This morning, walking back from the newsagents, someone ran across the road towards me. It was him! "Excuse me, mate. I've just got down here from Greater Manchester and my wife's got a gold ring and I just need someone to help me out..."
"Hang on," I said. "You told me this story the other day and I gave you some money."
He informed that he had been sleeping in his car since then and needed some money for breakfast. Like a fool, I gave him some. And a cigarette!
In return, he gave me a hug.
"You've got a kind heart," he said. "When I make it, I'm going to share my wealth with you."
So I gave him my address.
(Not really.)
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4 comments:
Hi Mark, blob, S's friend here. Just doing a bit of catch up blog reading as we got back from Thailand t'other day. Read Sara's & thought I'd read yours, don't know about you but I like to read them from the beginning. So clicked on your 1st entry for June archives and couldn't help but notice the rather prominent ad for the Sex Offenders' Register placed there by google ads..."put your mind at rest" etc. I'm going to be advising S to keep a diary in case she has to tell her story to TaB one day.
But did you click it (thus earning me a cent or two)?
I put it down to me writing about Hard Candy and using the word 'paedophilia'. Not a word that appears too often on my blog. Gerontophilia, on the other hand...
just looked again, and this time it was for "Domestic Violence Jewellery" - to be honest I haven't read your blog yet, but just the ads. Though I did read S's one for today re: hair straighteners. Hmm...is there a link between these things?
P.S. We are going to see snakes on a plane this week. Don't spoil the plot for everyone else. As I have NO IDEA what's going to happen in this film.
the add up at the moment is for "poultry slaughter lines"
you are still veggie arent you?
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